


I May Not Have Built This Kingdom

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cheating, Exchange Student, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Hate, Hate Sex, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love/Hate, M/M, Multi, Porn Video?, Smut, Zayn is American
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 04:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1141506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn is an art student, Niall is a music student, Harry is a law student, Louis is a drama student and Liam is a medical student. All have met each other in the past in one way or another, and some ended on good terms, others on bad terms. They thought it was all over; until they were allocated the same dorm block in Uni.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Woohoo new Ziall/Larry fic.  
> Can I get a hell yeah.  
> Anyway.  
> I'll try to figure out how often this'll be updated but I haven't a clue rn.

Zayn new what he wanted to do with his life, he always had known. Ever since high school he’d has the burning ambition to go into art, and soon enough his life basically revolved around it. Some people frowned upon it, saying it wouldn’t give him a sustainable future (like his family), but others (his friends) were glad that Zayn was going to go down the route he wanted. And now, he was just about to go to University studying exactly that, staying on campus at London.  
When Zayn’s mum stopped driving at the entrance of the university hall, she turned to look at her son with a watery smile, but Zayn could still see the disappointment in her face at the course he had chosen to take. “Okay.” She sighed, and Zayn raised his eyebrows.  
“That’s all?” He asked, a slight sense of bitterness dripping from his voice.  
“You know I don’t approve of this, Zayn… You came from Florida to London to study this…” Trisha frowned, drumming her fingers on the wheel.  
“I know you don’t, but if ‘okay’ is all you have to stand for your only son going off to uni, that’s disappointing.” Zayn huffed, unbuckling his seatbelt and checked through his rucksack to make sure he had everything.  
“What’s disappointing is that you aren’t going into medicine, or law. Your life path now consists of wasting hundreds of pounds on art supplies.” She snapped, agitated with her son’s behaviour.  
“It’s nice to know your view, but I would rather not spend seven years of my life learning how to cut open a person’s body, I’ve seen enough of that in my life.” Zayn rolled his eyes, pushing the door open. It was still considerably early and empty on campus, today was just the days for second and third years to come in, and then tomorrow the rest would come back. Zayn thought it was a nice university. All the blocks where the lectures were held were built in a semi-circle shape, with main block (teachers’ lounge, library, shops) in front. And then to the sides there were the dormitories, and a large pathway separating the living space to the educational side. The look was part of the reason why Zayn chose to come here.  
“Goodbye, Zayn. I hope by the end of first semester you realise the mistake and call us to switch your course.” Trisha sighed, staring forwards again as she pushed a piece of her wavy hair behind her ear. Zayn shook his head to himself, standing up out the car and slammed the door shut, not caring about how badly the departure was going. He knew there would be no teary-eyed farewells. Zayn new that he had come as a transfer student from America to London, he didn’t care, it was a good enough university and he would rather be somewhere he enjoyed class rather than being annoyed all the time.  
Zayn pulled out the cases and duffle bags from the boot of his mum’s car, organising them in such a way that they were easy to pull down the path. He gave his mother a small wave and a barely noticeable nod before turning on his heel and walked towards the door, preparing to forget about his old life and start new, here. Because if the teenage years of his life were bad, Zayn was determined to make the uni years the best.  
*  
It wasn’t that Zayn was disappointed with the dorm he was allocated too, it was just big, and big means people, and to Zayn, people means talking about life and other things. He sighed quietly and took the room with one bed, taking advantage of being the first person to arrive. The room was of a decent quality, the walls were painted a delicate grey colour, with one wall being completely black which just screamed ‘paint me’ to Zayn. The bed was king-sized (another reason Zayn chose it), and had a duvet without a cover, but Zayn didn’t mind since he bought his own. The closet was walk-in with three sections to hand his belongings, and those were accompanied by a chest of drawers and a bedside table. Little to say, Zayn new he was going to be spending the majority of his time hiding away there.  
By the time Zayn had adventured the rest of the block, he was disappointed to find that there were four more bedrooms, each with two beds placed at different angles, so there would be eight other people he would have to share living space with. There were three bathrooms, one lounge and an open-space kitchen of a good size, and Zayn was more than grateful for the beanie chair in the corner.  
Zayn as just about to go back to his room when he heard the door trying to be unlocked, and many muffled voices from behind the wooden frame. He froze in his spot, not sure whether to hide or welcome people in, and just stood by the window to try and pretend he didn’t hear the door swing open and crash against the wall.  
“Pez, come on.” Zayn noted a male voice.  
“Sorry, Li, but the rest of the girls are taking forever.”  
“Jesy! Watch out for Haz and Lou.”  
Zayn eventually turned around. Pretending to be shocked that there were people coming in, and felt his heart momentarily pause. He knew these people, or some of them. Not the girl, but definitely the guy.  
“Leigh, Jade, come on.” And then bags were being dumped on the floor, and all the people were swarming into the space, none having yet noticed Zayn. There were four girls, and three guys, and unfortunately for Zayn; he recognised all of the guys. When he still lived in the UK before moving to America, he’d attended the same school as them, and they’d all been pretty close. Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson. There was one missing, but he wasn’t bothered at that.  
Zayn held onto the bridge of his nose, praying that it wouldn’t happen, but it happened.  
He sneezed, and then again, and again, and one by one all the people turned to look at him, the girls jumping, but the boys all simultaneously having a sharp breath intake.  
“Zayn.” Liam murmured, and Zayn shrugged his shoulders.  
“Hi…” Zayn smiled a little, scratching awkwardly at his arms. He hadn’t realised how weird this would be, for all of them. Zayn had changed dramatically, he no longer had the short, choppy hair and weak jaw structure, it was now swept to the side with a tinted golden/orange layer under his fringe that when styled would perk upwards. Arms that were once plain were now scattered with designs, a sleeve developing on one of his arms, suppressing different colours and patterns.  
“What are you doing here?” Louis questioned, dropping his bag on the floor and let go of Harry’s hand, and not that Zayn cared, he was waiting for it to happen, really.  
“Attending university?” Zayn replied, sarcasm rolling through his voice, but his eyes were still scared and worried at how this would turn out.  
“Well, no shit.” Louis huffed, stepping back a little.  
“I’m Perrie,” the blonde girl announced. “This is Jade, Jesy and Leigh-Anne.” She smiled, gesturing to the three girls next to her, all sporting different coloured hair. Zayn nodded slightly, still staying near the window.  
“And you know who we are.” Harry smiled, keeping his rucksack on his back. It was all over-whelming for Zayn, because these three people new more than he wanted them too. They were there through that part of his life, the worst part, and when Zayn left, he didn’t know who they told.  
“I say we unpack, order in a pizza and catch up slash get to know each other.” Liam shrugged. Everyone agreed, but Zayn was the quickest to rush to his room.  
*  
Around an hour later, Zayn was sat cross-legged on the beanie that he previously claimed, picking off the pieces of pepperoni from the pizza. Louis and Harry had claimed a single chair, tangled up in each other’s limbs, Liam cozied up next to Jesy on one of the couches, leaving Perrie, Leigh-Anne and Jade to sit along the other couch. It hadn’t been too awkward, but Zayn still felt unsettled in the presence of his ex-best friends, and these new people.  
“So,” Harry started, looking up from his phone and to Zayn. “How’ve you been?”  
“Good… Better than before the- thing.” Zayn shrugged, keeping his answers short and simple. “Yourself?”  
“Pretty decent. Me and Lou kind of got together a while after you left, the four of us moved in together, stayed close.” Harry smiled, not noticing he said four until Louis was hitting his chest.  
“Don’t mention the fourth one…” Louis mumbled, adjusting how he was sitting in Harry’s lap so it was comfier for him, looking back at Harry for a sense of approval before snuggling into him.  
“You all stayed together?” Zayn asked, noticing how his chest was tensing from the fourth addition, who wasn’t here.  
“Yeah, and um, he like is delayed…”  
“Delayed?” Zayn swallowed thickly, and Harry nodded. “He’s coming here?”  
“Yeah. He should be here soon, just got caught up in Ireland..” Louis answered, stopping Harry from continuing with his downhill explaining.  
“Oh.” Was all Zayn could manage. He didn’t want to think about being in the same building as him, it was the last thing he expected to happen. The person who drove his family away and basically tore up any chance of being happy he ever had. It made his throat clench and deny the breath from entering and exiting his body, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut to stop tears and memories over-whelming his mind. Crying on his first day of university was the last thing he wanted to do.  
“He feels guilty, Zayn.” Liam started, settling an arm on Zayn’s shoulder.  
“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to know how he’s been or how he feels about the situation, he did it, either way he did it. And he ruined my life, don’t fill me with bullshit excuses to why you’re still friends with him. Seriously, Liam. I thought we were close, closer than the rest of them. But at the end of the day you stuck with him when he ruined me, ruined everything I could have, embarrassed me, insulted my dignity and tore everything we had to pieces. Any fucking thing you want to talk to me about, about him, don’t go there.” Zayn hissed, shuffling further back away from Liam. And that shut Liam up, left him lost for words. All four of them new how badly what had happened had affected Zayn, but nobody seemed to grasp that it still lingered with him, and every breath he took just shot reminders about everything through his brain.  
“Sorry.”  
“I’m going.” Zayn murmured, kicking the bean bag back against the wall and brushed his jeans down, dropping crumbs over the floor. He dropped his plate on the table, looking around at the collection of people before stalking off to his bedroom, shutting the door as quietly as he could, not wanting to make any noise.  
He really hadn’t expected the first day to go like that.  
Zayn sighed quietly to himself, sitting down on the bed and looked over at the plain, black wall that was still intimidating him from plainness and boringness. It just didn’t show anything. He glanced over to his bad, tugged it towards him and unzipped the larger compartment, pulling out a white pencil, freshly sharpened, between his thumb and index finger. He looked up at the wall, took his bottom lip between his teeth and had an idea.  
*  
Zayn didn’t make not of how long he spent drawing and painting on the wall, but by the end of it he had a kind of realistic portrayal of the galaxy spread over the surface, and it looked nice. After settling the paints and pencils back in their rightful place, Zayn looked over at the small clock and frowned at the time. It was close to midnight, and Zayn had completely forgotten that he had a lecture tomorrow. It didn’t start until one pm, so he wouldn’t have to be up, but he wanted to be.  
He shook his head to himself at his disorganised start, and carefully pulled back the door to his room, smiling a little when all the lights were shut off which clearly represented that everyone else was asleep. Zayn slowly and quietly walked through the hall, past the lounge and into the kitchen, just focusing on getting a glass of water. He wiped a hand over his eyes when he came close the where the kitchen started, narrowing his eyes when he could see a figure moving around the worktops, a series of echoing choices drifting about the place. He walked a little slower to where the light switch was, moving his hand to the dimmer one and flicked it on, freezing in his spot. (Zayn decided to ignore how much he’d been freezing and stopping today.)  
“You.” Zayn mumbled, staring right at the figure who was now illuminated by a faint orange light, shocked by the intrusion.  
“What are you…?” The person started, but was cut off by Zayn.  
“Studying, before you ask. And no, I’m not doing well. What the fuck are you doing?” Zayn hissed, slowly making his way closer to the person, still focused on getting water and leaving again.  
“Getting food, you twat. What does it look like?”  
“Sarcastic.” Zayn muttered.  
“Hi, Zayn.”  
“Fuck you, Niall.”  
It was a nightmare. Zayn had sworn he would never talk to his guy ever again, simply because he ruined his life. It may seem extreme, but he did. Whenever he would just hear the name Niall he would cringe, he hated it. Hated it so much. It gave him shivers and horrible memories, everything that he had heard would ruin a relationship happened between them.  
“I’m sorry.” Niall sighed, running a hand through his messy, blond hair, and Zayn muttered a profanity as a shameful remark for focusing on how good Niall still looked.  
“Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you fucked up.” Zayn snapped, crossing his arms over his chest as he simply stared at Niall, not blinking. He was murdering him with his sight, and he was sure if looks could kill, Niall would drop to the floor in a pile of ashes (that Zayn would non-shamefully vacuum up and throw away without even feeling bad about it).  
“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”  
“Don’t bullshit me, Niall. There’s no way you accidentally did that.”  
“Zayn…” Niall frowned, and Zayn had to stop himself from melting at the sadness that slipped through Niall’s voice. The voice that had seemingly multiplied in the deep volume, the voice that still spoke Zayn’s name perfectly and gave him shivers. It was weird for Zayn to think that he was looking at the person who used to be his entire world, who once held his heart but crushed it in a moment.  
“Don’t.” Zayn murmured, walking over to the sink so he could fill up a glass, wanting to get as far away from Niall as he could, and just hoped that in the morning Niall had a lecture so he could get out and go and Zayn wouldn’t have to see him for a while.  
“We need to talk about it though.”  
“Do we?” Zayn asked with a raised eyebrow, turning to look at Niall with glossy eyes, the memories and shame just taking over him again. “Do we need to talk about how you took everything that I had away from me to just throw it all back in my face? How you had to make my entire family and I move halfway across the world because their son couldn’t go outside without being judged? I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again, you ruined my life. And I’m not letting you back in. So fuck off, because I’m done with this conversation.”  
“Zee, you know it wasn’t my fault that everything turned out that way.” Niall murmured, and Zayn was increasingly getting more pissed off because Niall didn’t get the hint.  
“You did it, still. Did you ever mean any of it? The ‘I love you’s’, kisses, hugs, everything?” Zayn asked quietly, suddenly losing the confidence that he previously held.  
“I did, of course I did.” Niall whispered, getting that Zayn was quieting, and didn’t want to be odd by being loud.  
“Clearly you didn’t.”  
“I did, Zayn. I only did what I did because I had too, I wanted to still be with you, I wanted to drop everything, but I couldn’t, and you don’t understand that. I did love you, I loved you so damn much but then you left-”  
“Because of you!” Zayn retorted, turning to fully face Niall now. “Stop trying to pity yourself and feed me these lies to make you seem innocent. You aren’t. I left because I was looked down on because of you and what you did, but you sailed free innocent. That shit isn’t fair, why was it me whose life had to completely change because of a dick like you? I had my life planned out, you included. It was the first time everything felt right, that I felt appreciated, loved and whatever the hell else. It was you, you were my person, but clearly I wasn’t your person. You manipulated everything, I bet you told all the other lads the same shitty excuses just so they wouldn’t shun you, right? It’s unfair. My family hate me, think I’m a reckless teenager who fucks around with people. If you wanted to drop everything you would’ve… You would’ve, if it meant that much to you.”  
“Stop shouting, you’ll wake people up…” Niall muttered, holding onto the counter so hard his knuckles started whitening, his skin becoming paler than it already was.  
“I will do whatever I want to. You can’t tell me how to react and speak. I have a right to be pissed and be angry and shout; every single right. I’ve been so isolated and lonely, and you’re the sole blame for it. I don’t care how you feel, how you felt or how you are. Just know that if you think there’s a slight possibility that I’ll look at you like you aren’t a fucked up mess, scrap that. Because that’s how I’ll always see you.” Zayn kept ranting, now aware that there were tears smearing down his cheeks, but he didn’t care.  
“Don’t do this to yourself. You don’t look half as pretty when you cry.” Niall murmured, stepping forwards to wipe the tears from Zayn’s porcelain skin, only to have his hand slapped away.  
“Never touch me ever again. Ever. I don’t want your hands on me. Your skin has done too much, taken so many things and doesn’t deserve to take me tears. So fuck you.” Zayn finished, taking his glass and stalked out, flicking the light off in hope that Niall would walk into a knife and accidentally kill himself, because that’s what he deserved to Zayn.  
“Zayn, you okay, mate?” Zayn snapped his head towards the source of the voice, and scowled when he saw it was Harry.  
“Perfectly fine.” He muttered, continuing to walk.  
“Why were you shouting? You woke Lou and I up…” Harry continued, stepping further out into the hall, brushing a hand through his messed up hair.  
“Oh, I’m sorry for you and Lou. But I just had an argument with someone, nothing seriously.” He kept the low tone, gritting his teeth from the annoyance.  
“He’s here?” Harry was surprised, and Zayn wanted to gauge his eyes out because there was a glint of happiness, even though he was trying to be sad.  
“Clearly. Now piss off.” He finished, kicking the chair so it shifted a little and proceeded to walk to his bedroom, falling onto the covers when he got there. Because the colours were dark, he didn’t find it necessary to shut his windows, so he just lay there, rolling up in the covers and blankets, running out the possibilities that his parents were right and it was stupid of him to come back to the UK. But that wasn’t the main part of his worries, the conversation with Niall was the main thought. And that one thing he said that broke Zayn’s heart more than it already was.  
‘I did love you.’  
Past tense. ‘Did’. Meaning he didn’t anymore, which sucked for Zayn because he knew he still loved Niall.  
‘I wanted to be with you.’  
Wanted. But Zayn still did, even though he didn’t want too.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey eleanor is involved in this.  
> she's sweet.

Zayn groaned to himself when the splash of sunlight disrupted his sleep, making him exit his cave of blankets that he had built up over the night. The clock read just after five am, and Zayn cursed to himself for now not shutting the curtains. He huffed quietly, but stood up and just decided to get ready. He figured that if he was up and done before anyone else woke up then it would be easier for him to avoid everyone at all costs, including Niall.  
He couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened last night. Argument with his mother, a horrid reuniting with his ex-best friends, and the worst midnight meet with Niall. Everything seemed to go wrong, and all Zayn wanted now was to leave the dorm block and move into a different one.  
He sat up and turned so his feet were on the floor, taking a moment to adjust his sight before standing up and shuffling towards the closet, just pulling out a Nirvana sweatshirt and black jeans, keeping his usual colour scheme of black alive. To him it portrayed his emotions, sad, empty, depressed, everything else that he was feeling that he refused to talk about. He knew he wasn’t depressed, and people would get annoyed if he said he felt that way, but it was an emotion that skipped his mind sometimes, and bothered him all the time.  
Zayn stripped down and changed completely, spritzing some of his cologne on, even though he wasn’t planning on impressing anybody. He just wanted to look nice for his lecture later, and just hope that everything went well and he could maybe find a group of nice people who had an empty bed in their dorm room, just giving him and excuse for moving out and never having to see the people he was living with again.  
Zayn picked up his phone, stuffed it in his back pocket and made the walk to the kitchen, frowning a little when he saw someone else was awake, and recognised it as Louis, which was an advantage on both their behalf’s. It could’ve been worse, could’ve been Harry or Niall, and he wasn’t in the mood to see either of those today.  
“Morning.” Zayn looked up at the sound of Louis’ voice, and was met with the mutual contact of each other’s eyes. Zayn was a little startled at the sharp blue colour that flooded Louis’ eyes, and the horribly reminded him of the colour of Niall’s.  
“Hey…” Zayn mumbled, sitting down at the table and picked an apple from a bowl that was laid out for them already.  
“Were you a dick to Harry yesterday?” Louis asked, turning to properly face Zayn, sitting down in front of him with a plate of toast and eggs, and Zayn couldn’t help but wonder where Louis got the food from.  
“Not that I recall, why?” Zayn asked, his voice monotone and his face blank and expressionless. He was never really as close to Louis as he was to the rest of his old friends, they were really too alike to be able to ever be close.  
“Because he came back to sleep last night really upset, saying that you snapped at him and that Niall was sad. Also, thanks for greeting my best friend by cussing at him like it was normal.” Louis snapped, slouching in the chair and never once looked away from Zayn.  
“Well, sorry about upsetting your little boyfriend, but I was pissed and he was in my way. And seriously, Louis? You’re picking at me for being rude to Niall? Were you even there for the period of time when he did what he did?” Zayn huffed, rolling his eyes.  
“You make it seem like what he did was terrible…” Louis trailed off.  
“Because it was, you insensitive prat! You have no idea what he did, you were probably too wound up fucking every guy that was near you. How many times were you ‘in the bathroom’ for reals? Never, I guess. You don’t know anything, you’re too manipulated to know what Niall did. What did he tell you? Because I’m sure as fuck he’s lying.”  
Louis tensed and sat up again, feeling a little intimidated that Zayn was looking at him in such a confusing way. “He said he cheated, got mixed up with the wrong people and you got pissed.”  
“That is complete and utter bullshit! That’s not even half of what he did.” Zayn yelled, feeling himself get more agitated by the second. “He didn’t cheat on me once; he did it what, three times? Like I didn’t even exist, and then told me it was a mistake. He never mixed with the wrong people, he was one of them. I’m not going to explain myself to you, or what happened, ask Niall, because I’m sure whatever he says is right.” He finished, standing up and didn’t even bother picking up the chair when it tipped back and hit the floor, making Louis flinch from all the loud noises.  
“You’re being unreasonable. That was years ago, move on.” Louis muttered, calming himself down.  
“Now I know why I never liked you. You’re a dick, Louis. Harry can do way better than a two-faced dick like yourself.”  
“Zayn.” Zayn looked up to see a bewildered, and sad (possibly angry) Liam, standing with a hand clenched and the other covering Harry’s mouth, who looked ready to cry.  
“What?” Zayn hissed, standing behind the counter while he threw his apple in the rubbish, discarding the left overs.  
“You’re making things worse.” Liam replied simply, letting go of Harry so he could go and sit by Louis, still staring up at Zayn with a glare.  
“I’m speaking my opinion.” Zayn stated, pouring a mug of coffee, letting his British roots tug back into him.  
“Why are you so bitter?” Harry asked quietly, and Zayn saw under the table that Harry and Louis had linked hands, their fingers slotted perfectly together.  
“Because I have to live with you people. The people who I thought I could trust but the minute someone made me feel like shit you all turned your backs on me and acted like it wasn’t a big deal. And it was a big fucking deal.” Zayn mumbled, messing about with his hair so it looked more presentable. It was early, and now everyone was probably awake because of the fuss.  
“We didn’t turn our backs on you…” Louis sighed.  
“You did. Don’t act like you’re innocent, okay? You abandoned the innocent person who lost, everything important to him, had ripped away from him, and stayed with the one who did that. He took my virginity, first kiss, first date, first whatever the fuck else and just threw it away like it meant nothing, so you can shut-” Zayn stopped mid-sentence, staring over at the doorway to one of the one free bedrooms, growling quietly to himself when Niall smoothly walked out like he hadn’t heard anything.  
“Good morning.” Niall smiled, standing next to Zayn, who quickly stepped away and picked up his rucksack he left there yesterday with the supplies he needed for his lecture, gripping tightly onto the handle.  
“Your lecture doesn’t start until later today, I saw your schedule.” Liam murmured, not sure how loud he could go without annoying Zayn.  
“Who said I was going there? There’s a coffee shop down the road, and I don’t plan on being back until late tonight. Don’t stay up.” Zayn muttered with immense sarcasm, picking up a jacket at walked out, pulling his glasses out the print pocket to his rucksack and slid them behind his ears, pushing them up the bridge of his nose until they were comfortable.  
It was annoying now. Something happened that lead to Niall clearly not telling everyone what really happened, and that pissed him off beyond imaginable. He shook his head, lugging the rucksack and his body towards the small coffee shop, grateful when it as emptier than the dormitory. He stood a little in front of the counter, glancing up at the menu until someone, a girl with wavy, brown hair walked out, smiling slightly as she drummed her perfectly manicured nails across the counter.  
“Hi, I’m Eleanor, what can I get you?” She asked, opening her notepad to a fresh page and held onto a blunt pencil.  
“Just a hot chocolate I guess, regular with a lid please.” Zayn smiled, pulling out some money and counted out the exact amount.  
“Sure, and are you American?” She continued the conversation, and Zayn didn’t really mind. He was okay with it, really, she seemed nice and lonely, so he wouldn’t blank her.  
“Kind of. I was born here but was forced to move to Miami, then came back to study. My accents change, but I’m guessing it sounds American now.” He chuckled, putting the money on the wooden surface as Eleanor continued pressing buttons on the machine to make the drink.  
“Wait- Miami? So you’re Zayn. Everyone on campus knows about you! My friend, Danielle, works with the movements and social stuff and when she found out an American was coming everybody went insane!” Eleanor smiled, looking up at Zayn with her creamy brown eyes.  
“Oh… Yeah, I’m Zayn. Who told everyone about me?” He asked, suddenly feeling a little more worried that everyone would treat him differently because of where he came from.  
“Niall. Niall Horan? Yeah, he’s close with Liam, who’s close with Danielle. Dani basically told Liam and apparently Liam had to tell Niall about you, and then it spread everywhere. Personally I find it weird, both things actually. Niall never commits, barely goes out so it’s weird he was so happy you were coming back or whatever. And I’m sure that Liam and Dani are closer than friends…” Eleanor rambled on, smiling as she added more to Zayn’s drink then what he asked for, occupying herself while she informed Zayn on basically everything that happened on campus.  
“Niall?” Zayn scoffed, taking the drink from Eleanor but just sat on the chair closest to the counter, paying for a small pack of biscuits. “Ironic, he’s the reason I left.”  
“Horan? Damn, really? He’s like the most liked person on campus. That’s weird. Anyway, tell me about yourself. You’re new, look like you need some friends; otherwise you wouldn’t have come out at five AM in the morning to a coffee shop.” Eleanor shrugged, perching on a stool on the opposite side of the counter so her and Zayn were sitting in front of each other.  
“I hate him. So much. Stuff about me? I’m Zayn Malik, as you probably know, and I’m an art student who went against his parent’s wishes. I lived here when I was younger, until age seventeen, because then my family and I moved to America. I was best friends with Liam, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson and Niall Horan, but lots of shit happened and that changed. I dated Niall for just over two years, but it turned out that he was just using me and embarrassed me in front of the entire school; you’ve probably heard what he did, and community, so I had to leave. Ever since then I’ve sworn to stay away from relationships and stuff. My life’s a bit weird, my dad hates me, my mum doesn’t approve of anything I do and right now I’m broke and in a random country, just using money from commissions I do to pay off for food.” Zayn explained, smiling a little.  
“Wow,” Eleanor let out, staring at Zayn with wide eyes. “So, wait a sec. You dated Niall? Jesus, and he did that to you? I mean- I know that he did some bad stuff to a person but I thought it would’ve been a girl or something. He’s told everyone that the girl leaked it to make him seem bad, but only some know it was a guy, like Louis and all that.”  
“Fucking hell. He’s a dick, really. He came into the dorm last night and started asking me to forgive him, and now everybody hates me. I’m sure the girls do as well, even though I’ve never talked to them properly.” Zayn rolled his eyes, taking a long drink from his hot chocolate. It was nice, really, how he barely knew Eleanor but was able to talk to her like they were friends.  
“Girls?” Eleanor inquired, dunking part of a biscuit into Zayn’s drink, not that Zayn minded.  
“Perrie, Jesy, Jade and Leigh-Anne? I don’t know their last names, but they don’t seem fond on me.” Zayn said, chuckling quietly when Eleanor kept using his drink.  
“Oh my god! Seriously? You have some of the worst roommates. And Perrie? Damn, she has a crush on you. She barely knows you but for days on end she was begging Niall and Dani to tell her about you. The rest are alright, maybe not Louis. He’s a dick.” Eleanor mumbled, her expression changing when she mentioned Louis.  
“A crush? On me? Is she serious? God damn it, and trust me, I know. What did he ever do to you, though?” Zayn asked, smiling a little as he watched some people walk past the coffee shop towards the university, but frowned when he saw they were a couple.  
“Funny story. He cheated on Harry with me, and made everyone believe that I forced him. He regretted it immediately though when I got him to admit it all to me, I had one of those secret cameras hidden in my bra and yeah. Harry never believed me, said I forced Louis to tell me that.” Eleanor muttered, smiling still. “And of course Louis said he was acting, you know. He’s a drama student and some people believed him, but c’mon, I’m like the lead for gossip in this school, everything I say happens.”  
Zayn laughed lightly and pushed his glasses back up his nose when they started to fall down, shuffling about on the chair so he could be more comfortable in his seat. “What do you study?” He asked, deciding the change the subject from him and learn more about this girl.  
“I’m drama as well, I kind of want to be a teacher rather than actress but I’ll take whatever comes.” Eleanor shrugged.  
“Relationship status?” Zayn continued.  
“Taken,” Eleanor smiled a little wider than Zayn saw before, and saw her go to say more so he didn’t question it. “Surprisingly, it’s by a girl. Y’know Harry, Harry Styles? He has a sister, Gemma, it’s her. And that’s another reason why Harry doesn’t like me anymore, because his sister loves me more than him.”  
Zayn nodded slightly, a little more confused to how her and Louis had seemed to be together in a little fling but she was a lesbian and he was gay, and Eleanor seemed to notice his confusion.  
“It’s weird, don’t worry. Anyway, tell me more about you and Niall.” Eleanor smiled, opening up a fresh pack of cookies and poured two fresh mugs of coffee so her and Zayn could stay and talk for longer.  
“Oh, right. Me and Niall,” Zayn cleared his throat, a little upset that this topic had seemed to arise, and he wasn’t sure whether he minded or not. “Um, I’ve kind of forgotten a lot, I know we got together when we were like sixteen or something, and I felt pretty lucky. Because in high school Niall was that popular person who everyone appreciated, he was kind and still managed to be in the popular clique even though he wasn’t fit for the roll. I always wondered why he was insistent on taking photos of us and me, but just insisted that he was making a cute photo montage book and, shamefully, I believed him. Turned out that didn’t last. I thought he was the one for me, y’know? I’ve read in books and shit that there’s always, like, that one person who is yours and always will be yours, but that wasn’t relevant because he cheated on me a few times and nothing seemed to go right and I wasn’t sure how to react or feel for that. I just kept with it though, because he kept telling me he loved me but when we ended, turned out he didn’t. I don’t know, really. I don’t necessarily miss what we had; I just miss having him around. He made me happy, but now he doesn’t care. It sucks.” Zayn sighed, idly playing with the mixer that was in the mug of coffee he had.  
“Oh. That does suck, really. I’m not really sure what to tell you. Niall doesn’t seem like that type. He’s just really nice and stuff when you spend time with him. I mean like last year when I got to know him, he was chill and everything. I really liked him, but now I’m not sure. Like, everyone knows what he did to the person, or the situation, it’s just weird that the person is here,” Eleanor rambled, looking up at the clock which made Zayn do the same. “Shit, my lecture starts in ten minutes, I should go. Nice meeting you, should I give you my number or would that be weird?”  
“Nah, go ahead. I’m not gonna mind.” Zayn chuckled putting the polystyrene cups in the rubbish closest to him, holding his hand out so Eleanor could write it on there, and he did the same to her, smiling a little at how he might have actually made a friend who isn’t really friends with the people he dislikes or who dislike him.  
“Alright. I’ll text you later or something, yeah? I’m sure if you’re unhappy in your dorm you can come to mind, it’ll be fine. There’s just the five of us living there. Me, Gemma, Dani, a girl called Sophia, Nick and Stan. They’re all cool, if you want.” Eleanor smiled, pulling on a dark purple coat and turned to wave at Zayn.  
“Thanks, yeah, I guess.” Zayn shrugged, not sure what to do when Eleanor left, suddenly having that over-whelming sense of loneliness and emptiness fill him again.  
*  
To be quite frank, Zayn’s day sucked after that. His lecture was fine, he met a few people, including the Gemma girl that Eleanor was with, and it was good. What was bad, though, was how everything went wrong after that. He dropped his rucksack in a puddle, drenching the bag and ruining all his paintbrushes and pencils, he chipped the room key and was trapped outside until Jesy came back and let him in, and he was now stuck trying to brainstorm ideas for this project with everyone else discussing how good their days were. Basically; Zayn was pissed.  
He looked up from the sketchbook in his hand and glanced around the room, with everyone basically in the same positions as yesterday, and he hoped it stayed that way, because he was pretty far away from everyone. The only difference was Niall, who was cuddling into another beanbag, a blanket over his lap and a book lying on his legs, not to mention the glasses that were dropping down his nose. (And Zayn as mentally wondering why Niall was wearing glasses, he had the best eyesight out of everyone that he knew, or used to know.)  
“Oh! Haz, reminds me. I bumped into Gemma today, she said you hadn’t been answering her calls and stuff.” Perrie spoke up, looking up from a book, The Fault in Our Stars to be exact, smiling over at the curly-haired lad who was snuggled into Louis’ lap in a position that honestly looked very uncomfortable.  
“Yeah, I know.” Harry rolled his eyes, leaving Perrie confused and annoyed looking that her effort had been thrown away.  
“Why?” Louis asked, pressing a small kiss to the corner of Harry’s mouth, and Zayn wanted to vomit from it. Not that he wasn’t okay with the concept or whatever, he just hated how they were so cosy and fine and how Louis was whipped to Harry. It annoyed him, a lot. He was disrupted from his thoughts from the lighting up of his phone, and the small ding that pulled people’s attention to him.

  
**From: Eleanor**   
_holdin up okay? i have to tell you about niall tomoz x_

  
“Because, whenever she wants to talk to me she’s with Eleanor.” Harry huffed, trying to brush off the topic.  
“What’s wrong with Eleanor?” Zayn inquired, typing a fast reply to Eleanor before looking up at Harry, who was staring over at Zayn in a look much like disbelief.  
“Everything? She’s a bitch.”  
“Eleanor is lovely,” Zayn snapped, grinning to himself because he knew the situation now, and felt almost powerful. “And she’s happy with your sister; can’t you be happy for her too?”  
“Since when do you know Eleanor?” It was Niall who spoke up, and Zayn wanted to ignore him, but didn’t feel like being that way.  
“I went to the coffee shop where she works this morning, she’s a pretty sweet person, actually. Told me a lot about everyone here. Including you and Louis, so if you piss me off then good luck surviving. Everyone loves me at uni, because I’m from America, and they listen. I could easily tell them about what happened between you and El, Lou.” Zayn smiled with a hint of sarcasm at the corner of his mouth.  
“Zayn.” Louis huffed, taking a drink from the glass, which Zayn thought was filled with beer or something.  
“What? Just stating the facts. Not my fault you’re a slut.” Zayn muttered, taking a pencil back in his hand and started sketching again, tapping his foot on the floor as the sketched became nicer looking, and more developed.  
“Zayn, stop.” Zayn recognised that voice as Liam’s, and Zayn just rolled his eyes, it was always Liam who would ruin his fun, make everything dismal and bad.  
“You all know it’s the truth.”  
“How was your day?” Niall asked, sitting up in the beanbag and looked over at Zayn, accompanying the rest of the groups eyes, who were all looking at him as well.  
“Why do you give a shit?”  
“Because I know you. It was bad, right?” Niall sighed.  
“Yes, it was shit. But it’s none of your business, it never will be.”  
“You’re not going to get along with people if you keep excluding them. I’m trying, you won’t get far in friendships if you don’t learn to forgive and forget.”  
“Forgive and forget?” Zayn scoffed, staring up at Niall, not intimidated in the slightest by the eye contact.  
“Yes.”  
“That’s not happening.” Zayn said.  
“Why not?” Zayn was getting annoyed at the sound of Niall’s voice.  
“You know why.”  
“Do I?”  
“Yes,” Zayn snapped. “You know better than anyone.”  
“I know I do.”  
“Why are you being a dick?” Zayn demanded.  
Niall shrugged. “M’not. I’m trying to be supportive.”  
“You’re shit at it.”  
“Yeah, I guessed.”  
Niall settled back down into the beanbag, much to Zayn’s happiness, and everyone seemed to be glancing between the two, which ruined Zayn’s happy mood.  
“Well,” Liam stood up, stretching to himself. “I’m off, got a bio start of semester test in a few days.” Liam left, soon followed by the girls, just leaving Zayn, Niall, Harry and Louis.  
An uncomfortable silence settled among them, and Zayn could feel Niall’s eyes raking over his body, trying to take everything back in and read him, but Niall was terrible at reading people, so Zayn wasn’t worried.  
“Sorry.” Niall murmured.  
“Don’t.” Zayn sighed, putting his pencil back into his pocket and shut the cover of his sketchbook, deciding to reside to his bedroom where he could hopefully think through everything and try to forget about the mess that everything was in, possibly call his mom and see how everything was going and how it was back home.  
“You know I mean it.”  
“I don’t.” Zayn mumbled, looking up at Niall with a frown. He swallowed thickly, biting back his emotions because everything was piecing itself back together again.  
“Zayn…” Niall trailed off.  
“Stop. I’m not talking about it.” Zayn muttered, kicking the beanbag back against the wall and dumped the wrapper from his pack of crackers in the bin.  
“You need too eventually.” Niall persisted, standing up as well, but took a seat again after Zayn diverted his sight to glare back at the blond.  
“Yeah, well. Eventually isn’t today. Night, Niall.” Zayn let out a breath, walking away too fast to reply to the quiet ‘Night, love you’ from Niall, and he was glad he did, because he wouldn’t be able to make a sentence without crying.


End file.
